11.10.2003
so its been a while. and now i updated. a new header and all.
so lets start over and say hi.
cuz im depresate to be alive.
Posted at 12:56 pm by AmoebaGurl
10.1.2003
so i'm on the drug of anti depressants. does that make me any different?
i'm out of the hospital now. i still not eating much. and it makes me sick to eat.
i hav constant nite mares. how wonderful. =\
ever need a friend. i'm here to talk...
aim: antisocialperv
Posted at 02:08 pm by AmoebaGurl
9.15.2003
Posted at 11:41 pm by AmoebaGurl
9.9.2003
this is my online blog.
and this is what's on my mind.
it's so little how i know.
do you notice that i'm gone.
i let myself become so infested.
that i'm so far away.
i can see through to you.
i believe everyone is beautiful.
but beyond me is how show your beauty.
a smile on your face.
a touch.
even an embrace.
can trigger the beauty.
i could sacrifice forever.
just for one night.
to see the true you.
now take a breathe.
the worst is over for now.
Posted at 03:05 pm by AmoebaGurl
9.6.2003
one day you'll be happie.
to know that i'm dead.
dead as my emotions.
subjected to nothing.
as what i am.
nothing.
smile.
cuz you don't care.
so how does it feel. to know that. i don't really care? that. i'll just become so drug infested. that i'll ruin my life. just to get over this. slightly it makes me smile. because. i know that. i can never regret. and here i say that. i will taint my body with these things. and enjoy every moment of it.Posted at 08:02 am by AmoebaGurl
8.31.2003
i feel lik. i'm falling. my breathing is slowing. my chest is burning. my head is spinning. this is the sensation i get. alot now. but. i don't feel lik explaining my sickness right now. it's paining me as i speak.
i feel like when i make a decision of something.
it get fCuked wit another one.
i chose something to be in my life
but it's lik. i make the same mistake. over and over.
repeating it. and finding out so late.
i'd rather. we just slow down a bit.
i'm not your doll. to control. i'm not ur puppet when you pull the strings.
and i hate you for it too.
for making me feel this way.
lik. it's just the same.
i'm finding this hard to get thru.
your making me begin to change me mind.
it's not something you can understand.
i'm just tired. of this.
repeated error. why can't you be truthful.
and show me your true colors.
instead of hiding your untainted face.
okie. feeling better now. that my feelings are out. fCuk.
Posted at 12:27 pm by AmoebaGurl
8.27.2003
my complection issues have become my habits. i'm drowning in my reflection of imperfections, worry as if they showed my brokenness. i am lost in my face, my body, and my mirror. i can't see myself, but my image. my reflection. they have become my unexplainable problems. i envy every magazine picture of perfect figures and faces. i compare as if they were judging me. my smile is broken. fix me. fix me. fix me. somebody just fix me. my logic is disturbing. my body is disgusting. fix me. correct me. help me. my unstoppable drug habit. my body.
Posted at 09:41 am by AmoebaGurl
8.19.2003
dats right dats right dats right my niggahs. lol. nah nah. me and bushie [tiana] was having this messed up conversation. since we're both not in skool. XP. i'm out sick. she's just eating ice cream. lol. 6 sudafed thingys or wat ever don't work. ::tweak:: okie. hmm. bored. home want to play cs. =] don't know why. haha. man. bushie. lol. i'm gore! >< bush and gore. niggah! okie okie. xanga's back. yes it is. =] my xanga is
http://www.xanga.com/one_antisocial_per_vert
yay! :)! okie okie. blah! well. visit my site. and i dunno enjoy it? well hmm. X|. my throats killing me. i'm always sick. i'm a sick puppie!
-[M@nDy]
Posted at 11:04 am by AmoebaGurl
8.15.2003
i'm lik so fucked up right now. fuck yea. i'm playin cs on triples. :) i'm playing wit jin. and stuff. oh man. nfg was fucking leet! cuz! i'm so blind i can't read.
Posted at 01:55 am by AmoebaGurl
8.13.2003
first post. thanks to lori. i found a new blog other than xanga. which is sadly down. i lik xanga! ><! hmm. just edited bits of the layout. weird eh? hehe. i know. i look retarded. but wth. i wanna make it weird. hmm. better do my homework soon. >0<! lol damn tiana and her dnL dance. oh man. new phrase for the day "come to butt head." man. i'm hungrie. >< i want some. banana chips!! CHIPS! nfg tomw. yay? haha. well i wanna play CS right NOW! grr. but i better study for chinese. damn test.
Posted at 06:56 pm by AmoebaGurl
